Revising with Williams

“Upon request, the University discloses education records without consent to officials of another school in which a student seeks or intends to enroll. The University may, without the student’s permission, release certain information to parents or guardians of students under the age of 21 found responsible for violating any law, rule or University policy pertaining to drugs or alcohol.”

Because these sentences are all focusing on the same topic, I would pull out and state that topic in the beginning instead of repeating it multiple times. I would re-write as:

There are several circumstances that allow the University to disclose academic records without student consent. This information can be requested by officials from another school in which a student seeks or intends to enroll. Parents or guardians can obtain it if their student is under the age of 21 and found responsible for violating any law, rule or University policy pertaining to drugs or alcohol.

Williams talks to us about the use of topics in Chapter 3, dealing with cohesion. According to him we need to be able to readily identify the topic of a sentence or paragraph. By keeping your topic visible, and not using too much meta-discourse, it helps to get your claim or point across much quicker. The added fluff is not needed when making a factual statement. The main topic in the sentences above deals directly with varying circumstances that do not require student consent. I would pick “circumstances” and “student consent” out as the main points. Rather than repeating in each sentence that the school requires no consent to act, it’s simpler to state this in the first sentence. Then the subsequent sentences were all led off with the characters in which these circumstances applied. The first dealt strictly with officials, and the second with parents and guardians. Williams also talks about keeping the subject/character and verb together and not insert extra information between them. For example having “parents and guardians can obtain” together as opposed to writing “parents and guardians of students under the ago of 21 found….” and then end with the verb.

Strunk and White: first impressions

Even though the Strunk and White book was a little dry for my taste, I can really appreciate it as a great resource and tool for writing. I actually wish that I could have had something like this at the beginning of my academic career, as it would have answered a lot of my questions about general writing. While I did notice small inconsistencies with what I had learned throughout school, many of them I was taught could have multiple correct possibilities. For example, when he is talking about using commas in a list format, I was taught that you could include a comma after every item but the last, or that it was also perfectly fine to omit the comma after the last two items. For example: “red, white, and blue colors” is just as acceptable as “red, white and blue colors”.
One thing that I did find helpful was the section using semicolons and colons. I typically try to avoid using these at all costs because I’m never sure which is acceptable it what situation. When in doubt, I simply break things up into multiple sentences, which using great connecting words and phrases to help things flow well. One area that I didn’t particularly like was their section on misused words and phrases. I know that as a writer I tend to write exactly how I would say something. This means that I like the informal style, and tend to use a lot of unnecessary phrases leading into my sentences. One example that they use on page 60 is “The fact is…”. I know for a fact that I would use this in my writing, simply because I love leading into my sentences. While I understand that this is not necessary, I don’t believe that it’s altogether horrible to use them either.

Peer Review Recap

While this was not the first time that I've used peer review for classes here at Eastern, it was definitely the first time I had used GoogleDocs. I really liked using the GoogleDocs program, as it made both editing my classmates papers and my own so much easier. Overall, I am a huge fan of peer review. For classes that don't use this in class, I typically ask my roommates to read through and check things over. Getting an outsiders opinion is extremely helpful, for they will pick up on small things that I would have missed. Because I know that I have certain weaknesses in my writing, changing tense for example, I was able to notice that with a classmate and help them out as well. One specific feature of Google Docs that I liked was being able to insert a comment without it appearing as part of the text. I had never done that before, and it made both reading comments on my paper and leaving comments on others papers very easy to understand what they were trying to say, rather than simply highlighting and leaving it for you to figure out what they meant.

My Writing Technologies

When I think of writing technologies and tools that I routinely use everyday for writing, the obvious comes about: pen, pencil, and paper. These are so common today, and I use them all the time, both in and out of class. The other big no brainer is the computer. I didn't use the computer for writing or typing on an everyday basis until the end of my time in high school. This is a key technology that allows us to communicate much faster than what we had before. When I was younger I can remember using an old computer to play simple math games on, but never for writing or typing. Now, I use it for almost everything I write.
As for writing techniques that I avoid, I can't really think of much. We've obviously steered away from things such as feathers with ink and other techniques that were used way back in the day. For most of my life though I can only remember using pen, pencil, paper, and computer.

"What is Syle?"

Style plays a very important role in any piece of writing. When I think of style, I focus on several things. First, is format. Is this an essay, article, letter, email, etc.? Second, who is my audience? If I'm writing a letter to a friend, my style, which encompasses word choice, sentence structure, and formality, would be much different than if I were writing a paper for class.

I also believe that we each as individuals have our own unique style of presentation. Even when I write for class or assignments, I've often been scolded for being very informal. I tend to write very similar to how I would have a conversation with someone. Not only is this easy for me, but I find it much more entertaining for others to read. I do understand, however, that this is not appropriate for all settings. Overall, style is based on the combination of all of these things.

First Blog

First timer.